Keep your shirt on

I get emails from Major League Baseball a lot, because I was stupid enough to buy a t-shirt or something from them after the Red Sox won in 2004. Now, for four years, I get at least five emails from them a week. I have tried to get off this mailing list. There's no getting off. Apparently buying a t-shirt from MLB is some kind of Faustian bargain. Tell your children.

This afternoon though, I got an email from MLB that made me think. (And no, I never thought I'd write a sentence like that). The email was trying to sell me Philalelphia Phillies championship gear. You know, shirts and hats with way too much writing on them that will look outdated and silly in about 3 years, but that you're obligated to buy if your team wins a championship? And it got me thinking: Does anyone who isn't an actual fan of the Phillies buy these?

Like, is there a guy somewhere, who owns championship t-shirts for the Red Sox, Cardinals, Marlins, Angels and everyone else who's won a World Series in the last 20 years, even though he's a fan of like, the Kansas City Royals? Does he also own a collection of those leather-bound, gilt-lettered Sports Illustrated books that come out after each championship? And does he stop at baseball? Does he also own shirts for the New York Giants, Boston Celtics and Detroit Red Wings? Does he have chili stains on his shirt? Because I picture him with chili stains on his shirt. I need to know these things!!!

In a similar vein, some of you may wonder what happens to the championship t-shirts that are printed for the losing team. Everyone knows they get made, because winning teams are presented with their shirts and hats immediately. Somewhere out there, there are Tampa Bay Rays World Series Champions t-shirts. Well, dear readers, this is one I can answer. Those shirts are sent to impoverished countries to clothe impoverished people. Aren't our sports leagues nice?

Congrats to the Phillies!

Hey, I was wrong! The Phillies managed to keep it together and score a victory for their championship-starved fans. After much debate, I ended up rooting for the Phils, so this makes me happy. Well done, lads.

And hey, buck up Rays fans. Your team had a darn near miraculous season, and they look to be good for the forseeable future. For the first time for your team, the phrase "There's always next year" actually means something.

Singletary goes old school on Niners

Yeseterday was a particularly pathetic NFL Sunday, starting with the Bolts getting 37 points hung on them by the Saints in a loss. And now a Bay area resident, I'm also subject to one of the worst forms of pro football Chinese water torture: watching San Francisco 49ers games.

However, one awesome thing did come out of their loss to the Seahawks. New head coach Mike Singletary, one of the greats on the mid 80's Bears defense, is apparently going old school on his players. I honestly wish more coaches were like this, and it's awesome to see a guy that's willing to tell his "star" players to hit the showers during the middle of the game:



“Do you know what my favorite part of the game is? The opportunity to play.”

-Mike Singletary

Pour me a tall, cold Ray Hawk

Dang, so it's been eons since I've posted here. The polar caps have since melted, and the South American rainforests have been replaced by an Anheiser-Busch zillion acre tropical themed amusement park.

Anyhoo, hopefully we'll be back in the saddle here as I try and constantly wriggle free of the eternal pestilence known as "work."

So what do all our readers need right now? Nothing like a cold brew on tap and an awesome Ray Hawk to brighten your day:

Ray Hawks > Pink Hats

Rays vs Phillies: Decisions, decisions

Well, it took a little longer than I originally thought, but the inevitable has come to pass: It’s the Philadelphia Phillies vs. the Tampa Bay Rays in the 2008 World Series.

Because I know the biggest question on your mind right now is, “How does Liz feel about this?” I’ll tell you: I’m perplexed. See, generally, I root for whichever team beat mine (unless it’s the Yankees) because my feeling is, if you got beat by the best team, the loss is easier to take.

So this would lead me to supporting the Rays. Also, I tend to root for the American League team in the World Series (again, unless it’s the Yankees), so that too would lend itself to Rays support.

But, I have often said that if I were suddenly given the power of the Sports Gods, I would give championships to Cleveland, San Diego and Philadelphia, in that order. The Phillies are an old school team and Philadelphia hasn’t won a championship since the Phils raised the banner in ’80, so in some regards, I want to root for them.

What are you all’s thoughts? With whom should I side? I’ll do whatever you tell me, Pink Hat Nation. I always do.

[Side note: I appreciate the condolence messages I've received about my Red Sox, but I’m doing OK. Game 7 against the Rays was not a sucker-punch loss like the Boone, Buckner or Dent games. Plus, no losses feel epic anymore since we finally won a World Series in the post-WWI era. Red Sox Nation is a different place these days, and all things considered, we’re doing just fine].

Sorry, Phils

Enjoy it now, lads

Dear Philadelphia Phillies,

Congratulations! As I write this, you are on the cusp of beating the Dodgers to caputre your first National League pennant since 1993. I personally think you're going to do it. (Please don't beat to me to death in an abandoned warehouse if things don't work out).

Unfortunately, your probable victory over Hell-A is where the good news ends. Because you are going to meet the Tampa Bay Rays, and this is going to go badly for you.

The Rays are currently beating the Red Sox 11-2 in game 4 of the ALCS, on their way to taking a 3-1 series lead. Everyone keeps talking about how the Sox overcame a 3-1 deficit in last year's ALCS, but trust me - this series is over. The Sox pitchers couldn't find home plate with a GPS right now, and their batters looks like they're trying to swing telephone poles. The Rays on the other hand, look the frickin' 1927 Yankees. Nope, no comeback this year.

Honestly, around the time the Rays scored their tenth run, a sort of Zen came over me. (This was, admitedly, also around the time I ran out of swear words). But really, all I ever wanted out of the Red Sox my whole life was a World Series win, and they gave me two. And there's always last year. Let the Rays have their fun. I'll be right back there for my Sox the minute pitchers and catchers report next winter. I think other Sox fans will do the same. We're fat and happy right now.

But you, my dear Phillies, are in for a rough road.

Philadelphia fans are like Boston fans without the class.* Have you ever looked into their eyes? They're like wounded animals trying to bite their leg out of a trap. They're full of fear, anger and a hatred of all that's beautiful. This is mostly a result of watching the Eagles every year, but since most Eagles fans are also Phillies fans, the mentality carries over.

If the Phillies lose to the Rays in the World Series - the ten year old, just finished over .500 for the first time Rays - Philadelphia fans just might tear them apart right there on the field of Citizen's Bank Park. I can see it now: The Rays will be in the locker room spraying champagne. Fox reporters will be whooping it up with them, when the camera will cut to the Phillie's dugout for loser reaction. There, a grim faced sideline reporter, her hair caked with blood, will stammer, "They...They just kept coming. They wouldn't stop. Bare teeth...ripping jerseys...the Phanatic! Dear God, the poor, poor Phanatic!"

Since I started this post, the Rays have put up two more runs. They're not only for real, they're merciless. And they're coming for you, Phillies. Don't say you weren't warned.

Yours in pre-expansion preference,

Liz

*Before you Philistines fill our comment sections with derogatory braying against Sox fans, please note this is called "a joke."

It's so easy to fall in hate

It’s strange, being hated for your success. But you learn to manage.

With the Red Sox entering the ALCS for the second year in a row, the Haterade is flowing like champagne in a winner’s locker room. People are grousing about how spoiled and entitled Boston fans have become, even throwing around comparisons to Yankees fans. **Shudder**

They’re not wrong. Boston fans, with the recent success of the Patriots, Celtics, and of course, Sox, have been spoiled rotten this decade. And from what I hear, the crowds back in the Big B are becoming entitled boors. From the perspective of those us who aren’t total bandwagoners, it feels warranted to an extent, since our teams sucked for so long, but I know no one else sees it this way (just look at the comments on this post).

This isn’t a whiny, “We won and now we’ve lost our identity” kind of post. Believe me, I would much rather be hated for winning than pitied and made fun of for losing (ask any Cubs fan). And I totally get why a lot of people are supporting the Tampa Bay Rays in the ALCS: If they were playing any other team I’d cheer for them too. I’m a huge supporter of getting new blood in the baseball playoffs. I won’t even make fun of their fans in their TB caps so new the bill isn’t even curved, because I know a team’s gotta win a bit before people will care.

I just think its fascinating, and a little bit amusing, how easy it is for a team to get hated these days. You used to have to win at least a dozen championships. Now, in this world so short on attention and perspective that we need a show to recap what happened the previous week, all it takes is two.

Someone should tell Raider fans how easy it is. They could save a lot of time and money by shirking those adorable costumes and donating money to a the front office so it can buy a defense.

Is This the One October Everyone's Been Talking About?

It's finally here...MLB playoff time. I've been telling anyone who will listen for awhile now, it will be Cubs vs. Rays in the World Series. The only team I can see spoiling my prediction are the godamned LA Angels of Anaheim. And Lord help me, if the Dodgers make the series, things will not be pretty...for anyone.

I don't care how you get there. Just get there. Just get there.

SDSU Grads, gotta love 'em

This one has been all over Deadspin and what not, but I think this is something worthy of sharing with our small (but dedicated) enclave of readers.

The following photo of rookie Patriots QB Kevin O'Connell was likely taken during some kind of hazing ritual, but actually published in the Boston Globe. The picture was later retracted for obvious reasons:

Thanks for sharing, Kevin.

Props to Aztec students and grads for keeping us continually entertained with their sophomoric idiocy (Marshall Faulk and Fred Dreyer excluded) !