Keep your shirt on

I get emails from Major League Baseball a lot, because I was stupid enough to buy a t-shirt or something from them after the Red Sox won in 2004. Now, for four years, I get at least five emails from them a week. I have tried to get off this mailing list. There's no getting off. Apparently buying a t-shirt from MLB is some kind of Faustian bargain. Tell your children.

This afternoon though, I got an email from MLB that made me think. (And no, I never thought I'd write a sentence like that). The email was trying to sell me Philalelphia Phillies championship gear. You know, shirts and hats with way too much writing on them that will look outdated and silly in about 3 years, but that you're obligated to buy if your team wins a championship? And it got me thinking: Does anyone who isn't an actual fan of the Phillies buy these?

Like, is there a guy somewhere, who owns championship t-shirts for the Red Sox, Cardinals, Marlins, Angels and everyone else who's won a World Series in the last 20 years, even though he's a fan of like, the Kansas City Royals? Does he also own a collection of those leather-bound, gilt-lettered Sports Illustrated books that come out after each championship? And does he stop at baseball? Does he also own shirts for the New York Giants, Boston Celtics and Detroit Red Wings? Does he have chili stains on his shirt? Because I picture him with chili stains on his shirt. I need to know these things!!!

In a similar vein, some of you may wonder what happens to the championship t-shirts that are printed for the losing team. Everyone knows they get made, because winning teams are presented with their shirts and hats immediately. Somewhere out there, there are Tampa Bay Rays World Series Champions t-shirts. Well, dear readers, this is one I can answer. Those shirts are sent to impoverished countries to clothe impoverished people. Aren't our sports leagues nice?

Congrats to the Phillies!

Hey, I was wrong! The Phillies managed to keep it together and score a victory for their championship-starved fans. After much debate, I ended up rooting for the Phils, so this makes me happy. Well done, lads.

And hey, buck up Rays fans. Your team had a darn near miraculous season, and they look to be good for the forseeable future. For the first time for your team, the phrase "There's always next year" actually means something.

Rays vs Phillies: Decisions, decisions

Well, it took a little longer than I originally thought, but the inevitable has come to pass: It’s the Philadelphia Phillies vs. the Tampa Bay Rays in the 2008 World Series.

Because I know the biggest question on your mind right now is, “How does Liz feel about this?” I’ll tell you: I’m perplexed. See, generally, I root for whichever team beat mine (unless it’s the Yankees) because my feeling is, if you got beat by the best team, the loss is easier to take.

So this would lead me to supporting the Rays. Also, I tend to root for the American League team in the World Series (again, unless it’s the Yankees), so that too would lend itself to Rays support.

But, I have often said that if I were suddenly given the power of the Sports Gods, I would give championships to Cleveland, San Diego and Philadelphia, in that order. The Phillies are an old school team and Philadelphia hasn’t won a championship since the Phils raised the banner in ’80, so in some regards, I want to root for them.

What are you all’s thoughts? With whom should I side? I’ll do whatever you tell me, Pink Hat Nation. I always do.

[Side note: I appreciate the condolence messages I've received about my Red Sox, but I’m doing OK. Game 7 against the Rays was not a sucker-punch loss like the Boone, Buckner or Dent games. Plus, no losses feel epic anymore since we finally won a World Series in the post-WWI era. Red Sox Nation is a different place these days, and all things considered, we’re doing just fine].

Sorry, Phils

Enjoy it now, lads

Dear Philadelphia Phillies,

Congratulations! As I write this, you are on the cusp of beating the Dodgers to caputre your first National League pennant since 1993. I personally think you're going to do it. (Please don't beat to me to death in an abandoned warehouse if things don't work out).

Unfortunately, your probable victory over Hell-A is where the good news ends. Because you are going to meet the Tampa Bay Rays, and this is going to go badly for you.

The Rays are currently beating the Red Sox 11-2 in game 4 of the ALCS, on their way to taking a 3-1 series lead. Everyone keeps talking about how the Sox overcame a 3-1 deficit in last year's ALCS, but trust me - this series is over. The Sox pitchers couldn't find home plate with a GPS right now, and their batters looks like they're trying to swing telephone poles. The Rays on the other hand, look the frickin' 1927 Yankees. Nope, no comeback this year.

Honestly, around the time the Rays scored their tenth run, a sort of Zen came over me. (This was, admitedly, also around the time I ran out of swear words). But really, all I ever wanted out of the Red Sox my whole life was a World Series win, and they gave me two. And there's always last year. Let the Rays have their fun. I'll be right back there for my Sox the minute pitchers and catchers report next winter. I think other Sox fans will do the same. We're fat and happy right now.

But you, my dear Phillies, are in for a rough road.

Philadelphia fans are like Boston fans without the class.* Have you ever looked into their eyes? They're like wounded animals trying to bite their leg out of a trap. They're full of fear, anger and a hatred of all that's beautiful. This is mostly a result of watching the Eagles every year, but since most Eagles fans are also Phillies fans, the mentality carries over.

If the Phillies lose to the Rays in the World Series - the ten year old, just finished over .500 for the first time Rays - Philadelphia fans just might tear them apart right there on the field of Citizen's Bank Park. I can see it now: The Rays will be in the locker room spraying champagne. Fox reporters will be whooping it up with them, when the camera will cut to the Phillie's dugout for loser reaction. There, a grim faced sideline reporter, her hair caked with blood, will stammer, "They...They just kept coming. They wouldn't stop. Bare teeth...ripping jerseys...the Phanatic! Dear God, the poor, poor Phanatic!"

Since I started this post, the Rays have put up two more runs. They're not only for real, they're merciless. And they're coming for you, Phillies. Don't say you weren't warned.

Yours in pre-expansion preference,

Liz

*Before you Philistines fill our comment sections with derogatory braying against Sox fans, please note this is called "a joke."

It's so easy to fall in hate

It’s strange, being hated for your success. But you learn to manage.

With the Red Sox entering the ALCS for the second year in a row, the Haterade is flowing like champagne in a winner’s locker room. People are grousing about how spoiled and entitled Boston fans have become, even throwing around comparisons to Yankees fans. **Shudder**

They’re not wrong. Boston fans, with the recent success of the Patriots, Celtics, and of course, Sox, have been spoiled rotten this decade. And from what I hear, the crowds back in the Big B are becoming entitled boors. From the perspective of those us who aren’t total bandwagoners, it feels warranted to an extent, since our teams sucked for so long, but I know no one else sees it this way (just look at the comments on this post).

This isn’t a whiny, “We won and now we’ve lost our identity” kind of post. Believe me, I would much rather be hated for winning than pitied and made fun of for losing (ask any Cubs fan). And I totally get why a lot of people are supporting the Tampa Bay Rays in the ALCS: If they were playing any other team I’d cheer for them too. I’m a huge supporter of getting new blood in the baseball playoffs. I won’t even make fun of their fans in their TB caps so new the bill isn’t even curved, because I know a team’s gotta win a bit before people will care.

I just think its fascinating, and a little bit amusing, how easy it is for a team to get hated these days. You used to have to win at least a dozen championships. Now, in this world so short on attention and perspective that we need a show to recap what happened the previous week, all it takes is two.

Someone should tell Raider fans how easy it is. They could save a lot of time and money by shirking those adorable costumes and donating money to a the front office so it can buy a defense.

Is This the One October Everyone's Been Talking About?

It's finally here...MLB playoff time. I've been telling anyone who will listen for awhile now, it will be Cubs vs. Rays in the World Series. The only team I can see spoiling my prediction are the godamned LA Angels of Anaheim. And Lord help me, if the Dodgers make the series, things will not be pretty...for anyone.

I don't care how you get there. Just get there. Just get there.

Baseball is Still on Too, You Know!

Yesterday, while the entire universe was watching football, I was watching the #2 pitcher on one of the worst teams in baseball almost throw a perfect game. The Padres' Chris Young had a no-no through the 7th inning. Everything was looking good. CY was pitching like a machine (throwing only, like, 7 pitches in the 6th inning), no one was talking or even looking at him in the dugout (apparently Jake Peavy went into the clubhouse and wouldn't come back out), excitement was building (in my apartment anyway).

Then, effing Tony Gwynn...freaking "Mr. Padre"...announces in the bottom of the 7th, "Hey! Chris Young is throwing a perfect game. There's never been a perfect game in Padres history. blah, blah, blah. I'm Tony Gwynn and I don't know when to shut up." Then, the idiot that is Steve Quis joined in, "I'm glad you said it Tony. People are very superstitious about baseball, but we need to report what's happening on the field because people are apparently morons and can't simply look at the box score to see what's happeneing." Then, and you're gonna be totally shocked when you hear this, Chris Young came out in the top of the 8th and gave up a Home Run to the second batter he faced.

CY still acompished something major. He showed he's still got some serious stuff and I was proud of the Padres for an afternoon, but Tony Gwynn is dead to me for at least a week.

And it's not even pink!

I'm having hat issues.

As all 9 of our readers know, I grew up in the Boston area and am a huge Red Sox fan. But I've been living in San Diego for 3 years now, and since I'm here, I go to a lot of Padres games. The Padres play in the National League, and lately have been pretty terrible, so I didn't have much of quandry about cheering for them. The one time they played the Sox in interleague, I rooted for close games, ultimately won by the Sox.

But on Friday night, I took it to a new level. I bought a Padres hat. It looks like the one pictured above, except instead of a white front, it that "sand" color of the Pads away uniforms. It cost about $25 and fits my head like a glove.

I wore it the next morning on a coffee run, and instantly felt weird about it. Like I was cheating. Now its sitting on top of my dresser, taunting me. A harlot trying to temp me away from my myriad Red Sox caps.

Did I make a huge mistake? Am I just an over-analytical freak? Are you really still reading this? I can't decide if I've made commited a huge act of betrayal or not here. Help me Pink Hat Nation, you're my only hope.

Adiosito, Manolito

And so the Manny Ramirez Era in Boston comes to an end, in a fashion that seemingly mirrors the man himself: Confusing, dramatic, and with a total screw job for the Pittsburgh Pirates.




OK, so Manny's career has never had anything to do with the Pirates, but they did seem to get the raw end of this deal. About 40 minutes after the trade deadline Thursday, it was announced that Manny is headed to LA LA Land to play for the Dodgers, the Sox get Jason Bay, and the Pirates get Andy LaRoche and a mess of prospects.


Honestly, I'm OK with it. I was there when Manny hit his first homerun as Red Sox: It was the Fenway home opener in 2001, and he hit the first pitch he saw over the Green Monster for (if I remember right) a three run shot. It was against the Devil Rays, and it helped give the Sox a win on a spectacularly cold and rainy day. Ahh, Boston baseball.


But as awesome as Manny had been - his World Series MVP, his terrific ability to hit Mariano Rivera, his goofy hijinks like taking a leak inside the Monster in the middle of a game - it was time for him to go. For every fun "Manny being Manny" moment, there was also an increasing number of not-so-fun moment, like when he pushed down the team's traveling secretary, and possibly intentionally struck out in a key spot against the Yankees. He wasn't happy, and his disposition appeared to be leaking into the rest of the clubhouse.


Now he's gone, and while Jason Bay will never be as good as Manny, his numbers for the next few years could potentially be as good as what Manny will put up in the next few season, since Manny is getting older and Bay is entering his prime. I think its a rare example where 70 cents on the dollar might be the best move for a team.


As for you Padres fans who read the site (you're out there right? I've heard rumors) well, sorry.

In other trade news:

- The ChiSox got Ken Griffey, Jr.

- The Yankees got Pudge Rodriguez (don't ask why this is a Canadian source)

- And the Padres are bringing back The San Diego Chicken!

Secondhalf Soothsaying

Could this be "The Year"? Nah, probably not.

With the All Star break over, the real baseball season is upon us! Some of our original picks probably aren't happening (sorry, Pads fans) so we're taking a mulligan and picking all over again. Here's what our crystal balls are saying with 3 and a half months in the bag:





Dave:


NL West: D-Backs
NL Central: Cubs
NL East: Phillies
NL Wild Card: Brewers

AL West: Angels
AL Central: White Sox
AL East: Red Sox
Wild Card: Rays

World Series Prediction: Cubs defeat Red Sox in seven games in "Battle of the Curses." Chicago's acquisition of Rich Harden plays a key role in putting them over the top.

AL MVP: Josh Hamilton
AL Cy Young: Joe Saunders (fantasy owners, you're welcome)


NL MVP: Lance Berkman
NL Cy Young: Edison Volquez





Red:

NL West: D-Backs
NL Central: Cubs
NL East: Mets
NL Wild Card: Brewers

AL West: Oakland
AL Central: White Sox
AL East: Red Sox
Wild Card: Rays

World Series Prediction: Rays defeat the Cubs in 7, pushing Cubs fans into a serious depression. The entire north side of Chicago is put on suicide watch.





Liz:



NL West: Arizona
NL Central: Cubs
NL East: Mets
NL Wild Card: Marlins





AL West: Angels
AL Central: Minnesota
AL East: Rays
AL Wild Card: Red Sox



World Series Prediction: Minnesota over Marlins in the lowest rated telecast ever.

Happy 4th from PHN and Joey Chestnut

The one legit Padres All-Star

Things have been slow around these parts, mostly due to me hitting up way too many Happy Hours here in the Bay Area. The world of sports has been a little slow lately, although as baseball approaches the All-Star break some interesting things have happened, with the trade of C.C. Sabathia to the Brewers being one of them. One amazing feet that took place over last weekend, however, was San Jose's own Joey Chestnut repeating as the Nathan's world hot dog eating champion, defeating Kobyashi for the second year in a row. This time JC bested the legend in a five-dog overtime, no less! Here it is, and please prepare to be completely nauseated:



That's it for now, and here's what you all come back for, today's Inspirational Sports Quote:

“If a tie is like kissing your sister, losing is like kissing your grandmother with her teeth out.”

-Kansas City Royals Hall of Famer George Brett

Just so we're clear

What? We was just playin'. Hey, I'm Manny!

If you want to physically abuse a high-ranking member of the front office staff, you need to have at least 500 homeruns or a World Series MVP award. Otherwise, that kind of thing will get you fired.

Good to know. Good to know.

I hate my life.

Baseball vs. Football

RIP, George.

Links of the Week

Thanks to Golden State of Mind for this great picture.

-Kobe Byant and a glib Phil Jackson react to Game 1's "Paul Pierce Drama" following the Celtic's win. The Zenmaster on top of his game, once again. [AOL Fanhouse]

-On a side note, Kobe is into Harry Potter. Really! [Esquire.com]

-A great breakdown of University of San Diego pitcher Brian Matusz. Drafted fourth overall in yesterday's amateur draft by the Orioles, there are some questions about his fastball velocity and mechanics. [Baseball Intellect]

-Braves pitcher John Smoltz talks about matching up with Tiger on the links, and eventually trying to make it through Qualifying School for a spot on the PGA tour. [Golf.com]

-The Padres are selling the fact that first-round pick Allan Dykstra (1B) could be the Jim Thome type slugger that will conquer the spacious confines of Petco. Not everyone (myself included) is buying. Dykstra is an SD native and Rancho Bernardo High alum, as are fellow major leaguers Cole Hamels (PHI) and Hank Blaylock (TEX). [It Might Be Dangerous...]

-Screenshots of the NCAA Football '09 video game is out, and previews a new look for the Cal Bears. [Bears with Fangs]

Oh well, we're still better than Notre Dame.

-The University of Indiana football field was damaged due to recent heavy rains, and may eventually need to be replaced. Best. Sinkhole. Ever. [Hoosier Scoop]

That's all for now, hope everyone found some of those stories interesting. Inspirational Quote? OK OK, here comes the airplane...

“Hip-hop is a style. Some of my owners are hip-hop, but they dress in a different fashion. Hip-hop doesn't mean sloppy.”

-Street Culture expert and NBA Commissioner David Stern

Eric Show Revisited

With San Diego Padres baseball arguably as bad and uninteresting as it has ever been, the value of nostalgia rises by the day. In this vein, I found a great article posted by the Union Tribune on ex Padres and A's hurler Eric Show, entitled "He was the Padres' Mystery Man."

Show still holds the all-time record for career wins as a Padre with 100, and most baseball fans remember him for taking a seat on the mound after giving up Pete Rose's 4,192nd hit, the one that broke Ty Cobb's previous mark for career hits.

But innumerable fans and friends remember Eric for who he was off the field. A curious and often tormented personality, he defied most stereotypes of professional athletes in the 80's. The man learned to play guitar at age 5, graduated from UC Riverside with a degree in physics, participated in campaigns against Communism, was an activist in preserving whale populations, and often invited the homeless and strangers to eat with he and the team after games.


Certainly the point is not to re-hash the entire article here, but I think it does provide some insight into the changing landscape of professional sports. In today's climate of corporate sponsors, homogenized and sterile ballparks and players that learn the game largely through camps and professional instruction, guys like Eric Show have become increasingly rare. Locally, it provides some insight into Padres fans frustrations. While Eric played on some bad teams, they were a group with personality. An owner in Ray Kroc with a heart, and a manager in Dick Williams with passion and fire.

Hopefully everyone enjoys this article, as it provides an intriguing glimpse into the mind of a man that was compassionate, brilliant, and ultimately self-destructive. During the 1990's Show began to abuse cocaine and other drugs heavily, and passed away at the age of 37 in a rehab facility in Dulzura, out in east county San Diego.

Here is a clip of the obituary:

And one of his songs entitled "The Padres Win Again" (others are being transferred from vinyl and will be available on iTunes):



And of course, an Inspirational Quote...

“We have a choice – to think or not to think – and I've come to the conclusion that most of these guys don't want to think about anything but baseball, and I'm kind of ostracized for that.”

-Eric Show

Lester pitches no-hitter. Makes you feel even lazier.

Less than two years ago, Jon Lester was 22 and diagnosed with cancer. Last night, he pitched a no-hitter.

Less than two years ago, I was perfectly healthy and spent a lot of time watching TV. Last night, I ate a hamburger. It really makes you think.

Congratulations, Jon!

Way too far

It finally happened. Red Sox-Yankees turned deadly.

Apparently some woman in New Hampshire ran over a guy because he was with a group of Sox fans who started chanting "Yankees suck" when saw the NY sticker on her car. Have the past few years really been that bad, Yankee Country?

OK, I'm obviously making light of situation that really isn't light at all. I feel awful for the victim's family. (He apparently died shielding a friend from being hit, which makes the whole thing even sadder). Also, alcohol was clearly a factor here. This woman wasn't so much a Yankees fan as an angry drunk with no self control. You can find those folks in every fan base.

But still: Jebus H. Christo, WTF is going on here?!? We all love our teams and hate our rivals, but when you're starting to run people over, it's time to take a step back, light some scented candles and have yourself a think. Maybe baseball's not a good sport for you. Maybe look into basketba.... Socc... Curling! Yes, curling. Get yourself into that. It's a sport of quiet dignity, really.

The Rocket Implodes

The most recent plot twist in the B-level soap opera that has become Roger Clemens’ post-baseball life is that he apparently had a 10-year affair with a country singer named Mindy McCready. A few places have called her a “country star,” but my friends who actually listen to country music tell me that’s being pretty generous to the songstress’ career.

At first glance, who cares? A Major League Baseball player cheating on his wife isn’t exactly something worth stopping the presses over. But here's the kicker: Apparently Ms. McCready was only 15 when she first got involved with The Rocket’s Rocke…. you know what, I’m too grossed out to even finish that pun.

So now Clemens is: (a) a cheater, (b) a liar, (c) an adulterer, (d) a statutory rapist and (e) a man over 21 with frosted tips. Allegedly. Way to go from sure-fire first ballot Hall of Famer to The Male Lead in Every Lifetime Television Movie Ever Made, Roger. The K Kids must be proud.*


*The author has personal issues with Clemens dating back to his days with the Red Sox when his numbers declined, he showed up to spring training out of shape for 4 years straight, then got mad when the Sox wouldn't give him what, at the time, would have been the biggest contract ever for a pitcher. He then proceded to go to Toronto, show up in the best shape of his life and win a Cy Young. See that picture on his Rookie Card in the upper right hand corner? The author enjoys looking at it and telling the smug young man in the picture, "Just wait, buddy. Just wait." The author acknowledges this makes her insane.

Extra Innings are for Losers

I hate extra innings. I firmly believe all baseball games should be wrapped up in 9 innings and then go straight to a Home Run Derby type tie breaker situation, if necessary.

Last night, the Padres and the Rockies gave a whole new meaning to extra innings when they played 22 innings of baseball. The game ended at 1:21am! (Did anyone stay up to watch? I bet Matt and Mudd were pretty loopy/hilarious towards the end). Imagine if, after 9 innings (which came at about 9:30pm) the teams started a Home Run Derby. It would be fun/entertaining and the game would be over probably a half-hour later at the most. This idea is genius. I should be commissioner of baseball.

By the way, this is the 200th post here at PHN. Yay us!

Heath Bell for Closer Vol. 3

This is getting ridiculous. Trevor blew another save yesterday. I'm not even a full-time Padres fan and I'm getting frustrated by this. They've got to get rid of him. As I see it, there's three ways it can go down:

1) Bud Black quietly stops sending him out there. Heath Bell comes out in the 8th, and stays through the 9th. More subtle than just sending Bell out in the 9th.

B) Sometime next week, it's announced that Trevor has an "injury" and ends up missing pretty much the entire rest of the season. Bell takes over as closer.

3rd) Black very un-subtley just sends Bell out for the 9th. Maybe even has them play "Hell's Bells" while Trevor sits on the bench. This results in Bud Black mysteriously driving his car off the Coronado Bridge one night. The new manager hastily puts Trevor back in the lineup.

I'm leaning toward option 2 myself, though the last one would be pretty dramatic. It might - might - even end up on Sports Center. But probably not.