Friday, February 1, 2008

Super Picks

And now the moment you’ve all been waiting for: Super Bowl XLII predictions from two Chargers fans and a Boston Grrrl!

Liz’s Pics

Winner: Patriots
By how much: 5 points
Company with the best commercial: Apple Computers
Number of relentlessly advertised new Fox shows that will be cancelled before their 5th episode: 4
Accidentally exposed body parts at half time: 1, Tom Petty’s bald head. His hat will come off, revealing he’s been wearing one of those hair-attached-to-hat wigs for 17 years.

Red’s Pics

Winner: Patriots.
By how much: 15 points
Company with the best commercial: Pepsi
Number of snarky comments I will make about Ryan Seacrest to cover the fact I am actually totally in love with him: 50
On a scale of 1-10, how bad will Paula Adbul suck in her pre-game performance even though it was pre-recorded: 11

Dave’s Pics

The Victor: Patriots
Score: 31-24
Player who suddenly decides to suck just ‘cause they’re playing in the Super Bowl: Giant’s running back Brandon Jacobs. He’s pulling a Stephen Davis for sure.
Odds that Bill Simmons references his lucky Wes Welker jersey and the Larry Bird era Celtics in his next column: 2 to 1. Jersey possibly still at dry-cleaners due to J-Bug love stains.

Best commercials that didn’t make the cut: Michael Vick for PetSmart and Pacman Jones' “Got a Little Captain in You” spot.
Innovative new feature in Fox coverage: Hiring of computer-animated football named Booter to explain intricacies of game in an entertaining fashion. Rupert Murdoch denies rumors of nepotistic favors and/or blackmail by ex-baseball analyst, Scooter.
Tom Petty half-time show surprise: “Fog Machine Malfunction” during Last Dance with Mary Jane, coupled with the setting of the all-time Super Bowl record for Churo sales
Aggravating compulsive gambler’s moment of the game: Patriots cover the spread after Belichick calls for Matt Cassell to Junio Seau touchdown pass with one second on the clock.

And there you have it, Patriots across the board! That means they have to win, right? Right?!? I'm going to go throw up now.

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