Thursday, December 13, 2007

Mitchell Report Update: Tigers used illegal Nooks

Damn Xavier "Nook" Logan, DAMN. You have the best name in baeball, and you soil it with the use of performance enhancing drugs. But we all should have known. The high socks. The behemoth 6'2", 180 pound frame. Even go back and look at the stats. In 2004 as a rookie, Logan hit zero home runs. Then, in 2005, he went yard an ungodly one time. That shit is more than double. In fact, if you multiple zero times a million, you still get zero. I know, it's a trip, but they teach it in colleges all accross the country. Anyways, good thing they replaced him in center field with Curtis Granderson. His 20+ home run power makes him Nook Logan on steroids, I mean, fuck, brain freeze.

And damn you, Padres. Jack Cust was on roids, and you kept him in the minors for two years, then traded him to the A's where he hit 26 homers last year! If there's one rule to running a baseball team, it's knowing who in your organization is roided, and putting them in the lineup EVERY FREAKING DAY as they did with Caminiti, Mike Cameron and, apparently, Wally Joyner.

"Hey Wally, want a Squirt from the vending machine?"

"Na man, I'm Mormon, we don't drink caffine. Do any of you guys remember if I used the right cheek or left last week?"

That's it for now, but let's all remember that the owners and commissioner are just as much to blame. And say this five time really fast: Rocker Redneck Roid Rage

1 comment:

d'licious said...

mormon girls like it in the pooper!