Gaucho Alum Roundup

"Brian, I'm telling you, if Siddhartha were alive he'd be a fan of Tommy Bahama. Really!"

How are the alumni of UC Santa Barbara in the world of sports faring around this time of year? Does anyone else care? Do I care if you care?

Brian Shaw aka UCS-B. Shaw

The last Gaucho to make it to the NBA and former Laker champion, B-Shaw is now an assistant for his former ball club. What he does, who knows. In many attempts to lip read I believe he and Kurt Rambis have discussed a variety of topics on the bench from the Triangle Offense to Sodoku. Good for you, Brian, go for that ring!

Jared Michael aka "Skip" Shumaker

A relatively new Gaucho on the scene, Skip is your typical big chinned Orange County/LA Valley Santa Barbara alum. Batting .286 in 2008, Skip has become a regular outfielder for Tony LaRussa. He had a good series against the Padres, but then again who hasn't?

Michael Young aka Gaucho Mike

Did you know that Gaucho Mike had over 200 hits in 2007 for the fifth consecutive year? Did you know that the ONLY players to do so since 1940 are Ichiro and Wade Boggs? A man that baseball insiders proclaim as the second toughest out in the game next to Manny Ramirez and has 52 hits in 2008 for a .280 average, he is well worthy of a 21 Burrito Salute from Freebird's.

Suck on these, Cal State Fullerton

Barry Zito

Sucks. That's what happens when you only attend for one semester before transferring to U$C.

Ryan Spilborghs

A .303 average in 76 at bats for the Rockies and some sweet facial hair. Also a bona fide Padre killer, but again, who isn't.

Rocktoberfest '07

And, of course, your Inspirational Sports Quote of the Day:

"It's like when you smoke cigarettes, you got to take that nicotine patch and break that habit. We've got a habit of losing right now, you know, and we've got to get, like, a nicotine winning patch,'cause, you know, we got to break that habit of losing, 'cause it could become a habit. So we're working hard, we're working hard trying to break that habit, you know? It wasn't easy for Snoop Dogg to stop smoking marijuana. So we've got to keep on trying."

-Sacramento Kings All-Star guard and orange-eater Ron Artest