Sunday, January 27, 2008

After Loss to New England, NFL sends Chargers to Olde England

The 600-foot tall Jamal Williams robot, set to invade London next fall. It craves destruction, chaos and French Fry Burritos.

The NFL has just recently announced that next season's Saints home game against the Bolts has been moved overseas to England, and will be played in Wembley Stadium as the Giants and Dolphins did this year. Last time we treated/subjected them to the infamous giant Jason Taylor robot hanging out with Christian Slater. PHN has already received several insider reports about the game, one of which is that the 2008 animatronic Jamal Williams robot, will indeed, fart fire. We also learned that London was NOT Commissioner Roger Goddell's first choice for this season's international suare. Here are some of the other venues that were considered:

Tokyo, Japan

The Marketing Plan: Pay Ichiro to attend game wearing Mariners jersey, add Human Tetris to halftime show.

The Snag: Fans are still bitter over Bill Parcells' "Jap Play" comment, and Arizona Cardinals stealing logo design from Japanese national flag:

Rome, Italy

The Marketing Plan: Use cross-promotion dollars from Papa John's to convince Italians that American pizza is truly superior.

The Snag: The only NFL players fashionable enough to be allowed in the country are Tom Brady and David Garrard.

Sydney, Australia

The Marketing Plan: "We can beat the bloody hell out of each other, too!"

The Snag: Slim possibility for local ratings, Russell Crowe's "Fightin 'Round the World" airs on Sundays.

Berlin, Germany

The Marketing Plan: Free admission as compensation for inventing the Bratwurst.

The Snag: Populace is bitter at America for NBC not re-casting David Hassellhoff in new Knight Rider series. A certain dictator was also a Cowboys fan, apparently.

Hope everyone had a great weekend, and have fun with those Super Bowl plans!

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