Monday, September 8, 2008

Five stages of grief over #12

Not too far into the first quarter of Sunday's season opener, the Patriots' season died. Well, maybe not. Matt Cassell could turn into Tom Brady circa 2001, or the Pats could bring in Daunte Culpepper and get a vintage season out of him, but let's face it, lightning doesn't strike twice.

As a Pats fan, watching Brady go down (and possibly/probably take the team's season with him) followed the standard stages:

Denial: "Crap. Brady is grabbing his knee and not getting up. Wait! Wait! He's walking off the field. Almost on his own power. This can't be that bad."

Anger: "Hmm, he hasn't come back yet. The announcers are indicating this isn't good. Well what do they know, anyway? Bastards! Who's that guy who hit him? Pollard? What the f*ck was he doing? That was a cheap shot!!"

Bargaining: "Its because I just bought this new Patriots jersey, isn't it? It's cursed. I should have bought a Brady jersey rather than Vrabel. I'll burn it! I swear to God, I will burn this $80 jersey in my chiminea if you just say Brady's going to be ok!"

Depression: *Glug glug glug* "Why did this have to happen? On the first fracken' day of the season! Now they're not going to make the playoffs like every other Super Bowl loser. That's all we are. F*ck 16-0, we're just Super Bowl losers!"

Acceptance: "At the Red Sox are playing well."

I can't say what it was like for every other NFL fan (particularly those in the AFC), because there are no documented phases of euphoria. But ask yourselves, do you really want to win this way? Yeah, I know you do.


Dave H said...

Awww, poor Liz.

You should be over it by the time baseball season ends.

If there is any justice in the universe Tony Romo will be next.

words words words said...

Patriots = Eagles
Tom Brady = Randall Cunningham
Bernard Pollard = Bryce Paup
2008 = 1992

MVP QB of a Super Bowl-contending team goes down to a season ending knee injury in Week 1.

So while I am not without empathy, the Pats HAVE morphed into the Yankees of the NFL. Thus, I have three words regarding Tom Brady's injury:

Boo. Fucking. Hoo.

Yes, we want to win that way. When you never win, you don't have the luxury of choosing the ideal circumstances you'd prefer to win in :)

And Dave is right. If there is any justice, Romo WILL be next.

words words words said...

With time to reflect, that sounded much harsher than I intended. I sort of apologize. Kinda. But I still don't mind if the Patriots' locker room is ravaged by consumption.

Dave H said...

Yeah, that did sound pretty harsh. But just watch this "Angry Pats" clip and your rage will be sufficiently re-feuled:

Aren't you pissed again now? I think there's a market for "I Heart Bernard Polley" shirts on CafePress.