Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Nor-Cal Prospective: NFL Draft


This year, I will be unable to participate in my annual tradition of waking up each 4th Sunday in April, whip up an order of my famous eggs benedict, crawl back into bed, and spend the next 12 hours watching Mel, Boomer, __insert your ex-NFL black analyst vying for some potential HOF exposure___ and the rest of the gang crunching depth charts, team needs, and forever laughing at the Vikings missing their pick in 2003. This year I will be knee-deep in bachelor party heaven and unable to veg out in I have come to term "Lazymania".  For those in the San Diego area, represent your lightning bolt here.   


As a passionate Niners fan, the NFL Draft has recently become Must See TV.  Coach Nolan and his wicked thieves view Draft Day not as a time to cash in their picks, take their players, step aside, NEXT...  (See: Soup Nazi)  Nolan has given his fans savy backroom dealings, most recently the trading of our 2008 1st Rd. pick to to New England for the chance to draft Joe Staley (OT) in 2007.  In order to CTA, they traded for Indy's 2008 1st Rd.  Yes, it's a shame that New England was able to benefit with each dreadful, painfully excruciating Niners loss, coupled with each passing Indy win, pushing the Niners back, back, back down the draft board. But I'm still ok with the move.  We pretty much got a 2008 OT with one year of pro experience. Pending any last minute trades, we sit on Draft Day with the 29th pick.  

Picking 29th usually means BPA-territory, but none-the-less, Niner folks are looking at specific names.  While WR is the position that seems to have the biggest need on the surface, I don't like 1st Rd. WR's.  2007 alone:  Robert Meachum, Craig Davis, and it can even be argued that Calvin Johnson did not live up to the billing.  And let us never forget of the Rashaun Woods Implosion of of 2004. The Niners don't need any more #2 and #3 WR's...and there just isn't a bonafied #1 in the draft, let alone at #29.  Granted, new OC Mike Martz will be licking his lips should DeSean Jackson slide, but we all know it's Nolan, AND ONLY Nolan who has final say. Look at WR in Rd. 2 if need be.

Never sexy, but this year's OT class is deep. Stayley will be moving over to the LT position, taking over for the retired Larry Allen, opening up RT, and a possible vacant position as Jonas Jennings status is questionable at best.  While Ninerbrass is fiendin' for the Otah-funk, he wont be there; "Don't Call Me Cherry" Gosder Cherilus from BC will be.  Nolan isn't one much for offense... but he does love his chubby manwalls protecting his golden boy Alex Smith.

On to Nolan's bailiwick, Auburn's Quentin Groves has been viewed as the latest NCAA DE to NFL OLB project.  This isn't a bad thing, as he would compliment Mr. Wetdream Willis, but the Niners could also roll the dice and possibly pick him up in the early second round (2RD - 7th). Considering Nolan likes to take boys he worked out during his annual Senior Bowl appearance (please tell me why Raider and Niner staffs are mentoring our youths??), I could see him pull the trigger on Groovy Groves early.

All in all, many draft days under the Nolan regime have been entertaining.  Vernon Davis Click Clacking abound, Alex Smith, the #1 no one wanted, etc..., but this is the year of the Z.  No, not Dr. Z.... but as in Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.    With the departure of Derek Smith in the LB position, Mr. Roseanne (Dan Connor - from the LB Factory of PappyJoe St.) looks to wet Nolan's whistle.  Winner of the Chuck Bednarik Award for best defensive player (LaVar Arrington, Dan Morgan, Julius Peppers, etc...) a safe bet would be to go for a nice convenient great white hope.  Granted, Groves is the name that the Niner Faithful are rooting for, but this plate of eggs benedict is zigging, while all others are zagging, and expect to see Nolan get his man in Connor. But then again, he lacks fluid hips, so what do I know?   

I suppose I will wake up Saturday morning with the subtle taste of jager yak and pair of panties on my head, and see if I was correct in missing this year's Lazymania.  Zzzzzzzzzzzz.

5 comments:

Dave H said...

I heard on the radio today the Niners were going to "Pop the Cherilius," if you will.

Red said...

mmmm...eggs benedict...

I must admit, I don't know anything about Niners football, but good luck. I hope all your football dreams come true.

And I hope you don't drink so much you die at the bachelor party.

Dave H said...

Alex Smith will rock this year.

Highlanders 4 life, bitches.

Newman said...

I remember when walking into a bar and yelling "Niner Football MotherF&*^ers!" used to get get me a free beer..... now all I get are jeers and sym(pathetic) pats on the head.

Dave H said...

It's OK man, just pop in one of those old Sports Illustrated championship DVDs. Oh wait, last time the Niners were good VHS was en vogue...