Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Tying one on for McAnulty

The San Diego Padres have had a tough time keeping an outfield together lately. And by lately, I mean since the turn of the century. They’ve had a different 7, 8, 9 combo nearly every year since the start of this decade. Last night, they started Brian Giles in right, Scott Hairston in center and Paul McAnulty in left. No one is really expecting this to be the setup all year.

Well, we here at Pink Hat Nation are hoping at least one guy will stay on – and that’s Paulie. Not because of any great athletic ability (he seems serviceable in that department) but because of his name. See, we’re all big fans of the show The Wire, and one of the heroes of that dearly departed program was a morally challenged detective named Jimmy McNulty. McNulty, McAnulty. It’s so close, we might as well just say they’re the same.

And we do! PHN has officially dubbed McAnulty “McNulty” and have yelled for him accordingly, much to the confusion and chagrin of those standing near us at Petco the other night. In solidarity with keeping Mc(A)Nulty in the outfield, we’re going to tie red ribbons around our wrists. (If you get that reference, you’re as cool as Stringer Bell, friendo). We encourage all Padres fans to join us. They’re probably planning on rotating about 7 guys through the outfield over the course of the season anyway, why not save everyone a lot of time and effort and leave a decent player with an underground following out there? Maybe with enough encouragement, he’ll start drinking fifths of Jameson and having sex with people on the hoods of cars during the games. Fingers crossed!

See, walking through left field is a lot like walking through the garden, and .... You know what guys, it's a long season, get used to this nonsense.


Nathaniel said...

Seems like a stretch. I mean Fat Boy on the Padres is a good player but no one will accuse him of being anything but chunky.

Dave H said...

Don't funk the chunk.

Or something like that.

Red said...

McNulty for Left Fielder!