The poor man's racquetball

Once upon a time I knew a lot about tennis. I took lessons with the Scituate Youth Center, and even won a round of a tournament. This remains my greatest athletic achievment.* This was circa 1993, which I've since been told was a kind of "Golden Age" of US tennis, when Andre Agassi, Pete Sampras, Monica Seles, Steffi Graff and all those guys were in their primes or coming onto the scene. My friends and I would jokingly grunt really loudly after we hit the ball in honor of our favorite stars. Apparently US tennis isn't as good any more, but I've decided I'm going to make a concentrated effort to get back into the sport anyway. I plan on watching as much of the US Open as possible this weekend. Maybe my support will single-handedly restore US tennis to the zenith it once aspired. And if not, at least I'll get to look at Andy Roddick and Roger Federer for a little while. Heyyyy!

* This victory was controversial because my friend Rachel had beaten everyone in our class to be named "Queen of the Court" and go on to the next round of the tournament. But then I came back from vacation and beat Rachel, effectively transferring the crown to the House of Malloy. Rachel felt it wasn't fair because she beat like 10 people and I'd only beat one. She was probably right, but I'm OK with it. I was knocked out in the next round anyway.